Biscuits and Gravy

Until I had arived in Indiana in March 2001 I had never had or heard of Biscuits and Gravy. When Invited out for breakfast and asked by a friend if I wanted to try it, I imagined two tea biscuits covered in beef gravy, I though "what an odd breakfast" but said yes. After all everyone else was ordering it. When it arrived I was surprised to find two large butermilk biscuts covered in a white sauce and chopped sausage. Thgis was the start of the downward spiral. Forget heroin, crack, ectasy, T or K , this stuff was addictive. And it was everywhere, McDonalds, the local drug store, gas stations, bars, hospital waiting rooms! In one month I gained 37 pounds! One Sunday heading into the local Hardy's to get the best B&G in town, they served this only till 11:AM and it was 6 minutes to 11:00.
I noticed a lady in a walker, slowly making her way across the parking lot, she looked at me. I looked at her. I started walking faster. And I stop as she leaps over her walker using it as a child would use a jump rope. As she nears me she swings the walker at me, hitting me in the chest and knocking the wind out of me. I get up try to compose myself and head toward the entrance to Hardy's. There is the old lady, leaving the counter smiling, with the last order of B&G. She grins at me and says "nobody gets between me and my biscuits". I walk our dejected, looking around wondering if
Rod Serling is hiding anywhere nearby.